The long-dreaded night is here. Tomorrow I will be taking my boy to day care and leaving him there for the first time. I am really upset and emotional and just trying to talk myself through it. I am not actually returning to work until Tuesday but I thought we would do a few "dress rehearsals." Besides missing him, obviously, my main concern is that he will not take a bottle. I'm really nervous about this. I feel like I failed somehow. He had bottles the first four days of his life and then on and off til the end of January. He started refusing and I couldn't get him to take one since then. He screams. It is very upsetting for us both.
Other than that I think things will be OK. We visited last Friday and again on Monday just so he could get used to being there and he met the other boys in his "class." I dropped the diapers and wipes off on Monday so now tomorrow I just have to put his crib sheet on and take all the normal weekly and daily items (changes of clothes, tuition check, bottles, milk, pacifier).
I am so nervous about getting us out of the house every morning with all our stuff. I just know I'm going to forget something. Once I start work again I'll have to remember my work bag, breastpump, and my food for the day in addition to his stuff. It's a lot to remember early in the morning.
I have been so enjoying this age. He giggles a lot. He shrieks (cute for a little while anyway, ha ha). He smiles tons. He blows raspberries. He grabs his feet. He is just adorable. Tonight I caught him looking at his daddy and just smiling from the other end of the couch.
My maternity leave was so long, it sort of felt like it might never end. But 25 weeks have passed and the next one will have passed in the blink of an eye. I think we did a good amount of fun things. We went to three matinees (two specifically for moms and babies). We went to La Leche League meetings, support groups at the Breastfeeding Resource Center, a couple of playdates. We also started chiropractic care which was three days per week for me and he came along to all of them but only was adjusted once per week. He has just been my little sidekick for so long now. I'm not going to know what to do without him.
My hope and prayer is still that I can go to part-time. I'd have to wait a few weeks anyway for my husband's full-time job to start. I have to remain full-time to carry health insurance for us but once he gets his on April 23rd we can switch to his I hope.
I hired a cleaning lady and she starts this Saturday. If I have to work full-time (or even most of the time) I do not want to spend the few precious hours I have with my son working around the house. I want to spend quality time with him. I'm so excited to have the house all clean. Good-bye, dust bunnies!
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