It was starting to seem a bit odd to me to be posting on a blog about trying to conceive when I'm already nine weeks pregnant. I kept hesitating to start a new pregnancy/birth blog though, I guess in part due to a fear that "something would happen." Since I'm nine weeks now though I decided I need to start moving forward and looking to the future. It's been a whirlwind few months and I just can't believe where we've gotten in such a short amount of time. Two months ago I wasn't even pregnant and was feeling so dejected that our first cycle was a non-ovulatory bust and today I heard my baby's heartbeat for the fourth time. I am so so blessed.
For those of you who don't know, I have PCOS and went months and months without ovulating while TTC (trying to conceive). When I did ovulate it would be very late in my cycle (after day 30) and not what you'd consider a "good" ovulation. We visited a reproductive endocrinologist (RE) in December (after having had all the tests we needed back in the summer) and decided to start Femara (to induce ovulation). January 1-5 I took 2.5 mg and my largest follicle never grew past 12mm. (It needs to be more in the range of 20mm.) The second month (February 2-6) I took 5 mg of Femara and by February 14 I had quite a large follicle. I triggered with Ovidrel (forces ovulation to occur within approximately 36 hours) and on February 27 I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! Our original plan was to wait til May or June to start fertility treatments but in December I was starting to feel really low so we decided to just do one cycle to see if I'd ovulate. Well, I didn't and then we decided to try just one more and if that didn't work we were going to put it on hold until May or June again. Well, thank God, May and June are not even here yet and I'm already pregnant. We told none of our friends and family we were doing this. We wanted to keep it to ourselves and not hear the constant questions asking how things were going and if I was pregnant yet. We wanted to keep the pregnancy a secret between us until close to the second trimester (and now we're nine weeks and going strong) and if we told people we were seeing the RE it would have been almost impossible to keep it quiet.
I read somewhere the other day that pregnancy brings with it a mix of anticipation, fear, and excitement. That has definitely been true for my husband and me. He's been unemployed since August and I know that has to be so hard on him emotionally as well as it is a financial strain. I was able to pay for our fertility treatments with my flexible spending account (FSA) through my employer. The end of last year my company had open enrollment and I put in quite a few thousand dollars for 2011. My hope was that I'd only need one or two cycles and then the rest of the money could go for the birth (since due date would be in 2011) or if I needed more than 1-2 cycles I'd get as many as I needed before the money ran out. Fortunately there is still some money left after two cycles and I can put the rest towards the birth.
I was so worried my husband would be upset (or if not upset, just not that excited) about the pregnancy even though it was something we were actively working towards, but he is excited as I am. He talks to the baby and has given it nicknames already. While I'm convinced our baby is a boy, he thinks it's a girl.
The fear part I think is definitely lesser for me than the anticipation and excitement. I'm so excited to meet our kid, to get to know his/her personality, to hear the first laugh (baby giggles melt me), to cuddle my baby, to read to him/her.
I absolutely love being pregnant so far. I haven't had one moment of nausea. My only symptoms are extreme fatigue (I can barely hold open my eyes during the day at times) and very sore breasts. I've also already begun to get round ligament pain. All of these symptoms are quite worth it to me. I'm so grateful to be pregnant and what a bonus not to have morning sickness. While I can't wait to meet our child, I also just love love being pregnant and am already sad that in seven months it will be over. Of course once the seven months is up I might be talking differently but for right now I just adore knowing there is a little tiny human inside my uterus growing by the day!
I want to start keeping a written journal too, something I can give to our baby someday when he/she is old enough to read it and appreciate it, where I can record my thoughts and the events.
I hope you'll continue reading what I have to share. Thank you for those of you who will.
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